I’m gonna start this by saying that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with masculinity. Masculinity is not toxic. If anything, the thing that is most toxic to masculinity is feminism.
Sure, there are men who are toxic to masculinity. There are toxic people anywhere and in anything.
Now, as I get ready to share the idea that I originally wanted to start with, I would like you to know that I in no way see myself as the lead source on masculinity. There are a host of others far more qualified to discuss the topic. I’m just a gentleman with an opinion and an affinity to share some of my thoughts and life experiences.
So here goes…
I just got done reading a really good book by John Eldredge titled Wild at Heart. In this book, John laid out the idea that boys/men require three basic things: a challenge, a beauty, and an adventure.
It hit me as I was thinking about something that happened to me earlier today, that this is as simple as the ABC’s of masculinity.
A = Adventure
B = Beauty
C = Challenge
For the sake of this post, I’d like to focus on the B of the ABC’s. Beauty.
I’ll admit there is some level of adventure and challenge required to capture your beauty. Now, I’ve been married for 22 years, so it would be easy to admit that I’ve already ‘captured’ my beauty.
But, have I?
I challenged myself to confront this today while chatting with my wife. You see, we were getting ready for the day, and I was doing something or saying something – I don’t remember what it was – which sparked her to say that I already got her.
I proceeded to inform her that my chase isn’t over to win her.
That chase and desire to win her over started in 9th grade at a Valentine’s Day dance. From the moment I saw her, I knew she was the one. I started my conquest if you will. Heck, I didn’t even tell her my name in the hope it would cause her to chase me.
That plan didn’t entirely work. From what she tells me, she asked one of here friends later that night about me. What I’m also not sure of is if I stayed on her mind as she did mine.
So, I did what I had to do so she would see me around. Again, trying to do so to create a bit of mystique so she would pursue me.
Eventually, we began talking, and within a few weeks, I asked her out.
I was devastated when she turned me down. The first time that is. I didn’t give up! I asked her a second time a few days later, and she said yes this time.
And, we’ve been together ever since.
Whether it was a joke or not, as seniors, we were voted ‘Most Likely to Live Happily Ever After”.
From that moment, I decided to take it seriously. I decided to make my princess feel like her life was that of a fairy tale.
Am I confident that my chase is over? Again, we’ve been married for 22 years and together for 25. That’s more than half our lives right now. No! That chase is never going to end.
I will continue to chase her every day. I will make it my mission to make her know how special she is. To know how much loved she is. To make her laugh.
Every day is a new challenge and adventure. Knowing I have a beauty to chase as well brings a new level of excitement to all of it.