The Stafford Voice

Our little place to talk about and share about life.

Miscellaneous

Amazon Halo Wearable; How far is too far?

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Halo App and Halo Band
source: Amazon/CNBC

I’ll admit I like gadgets and tech of many kinds. I’m even trying to figure out which smartwatch – or wearable depending on who you are – to get. I’m torn about the Apple Watch. I’m a big fan of Apple, but damn that thing is pricey! 

Recently, Amazon introduced a new wearable to the market called Halo.

When I saw what this thing is being advertised to do? I immediately questioned things. Most importantly, I asked, “How far is too far?”

Call me a conspiracy theorist, but in all honesty, do we not have enough products around us at all times that are constantly listening and collecting massive amounts of data?

Enough of that; what about that new Amazon Halo wearable?

Here’s a list of features if you will:

  • No screen but does have LED lights and 2 microphones
  • Water resistant
  • It tracks motion, heart rate, sleep phases and skin temperature while sleeping
  • Battery that is designed to last up to 7 days
  • Only available as part of a subscription service

This wearable is all about health. Despite the minimal monthly subscription cost for the app, the features being touted are pretty rich.

But the part that is concerning to me is that it is always listening. The Halo is trying to listen to your mood to help track them. I’ve had a few reservations about how many Amazon devices are around that are listening.

Amazon is all about data collection. I get that.

Am I crazy for asking, “How far is too far?”

A Note to Our Readers

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I’m going to admit this right at the start. This is the third or fourth time I’ve tried to write this. That’s right. I’ve typed this out a few times only to have selected all and hit delete. The only logical reason I can come up with is that I just want it to be perfect.

Here’s the real truth: It will NEVER be perfect!

So, I’m just going to hammer this out real quick and try not to look back.

About two years ago, life threw us a few curve balls. Add to that, I got tired and stressed out trying to keep up with the website, the podcast, the video production, and everything else that was on my plate. I kept allowing people to add things to my load without ever learning how to say no. I had to do something about it, so we put everything on pause.

Sporadically I would post things about everyday things that more and more people could relate to. This became a bit of a creative release for me.

I love to create. The entire process of starting with nothing and creating something. It doesn’t matter if it’s just words on a screen or paint on a canvas. I like to do it.

Let’s just cut to the chase!

Going forward, this will be a placeholder for things of life. It will be somewhat of a journal of life.

With that, here’s to the next chapter.

Digital Detox

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The last 60-90 days have been quite the roller coaster thanks to the whole Covid-19 pandemic. Businesses locked their doors. People were issued stay-at-home orders. Extroverts were forced to live like an introvert. About the only ways people could socialize was through social media or through video chats.

I’m not happy to admit that I spent what I would consider too much time scrolling around on social media. Now, I’m not the type to comment or say a lot on there anyway, but I did spend a little extra time than normal scrolling through people watching. (Yes, I know that sounds borderline creepy.)

As I was noticing this about my change in habits, I decided what I need is a digital detox. So, for the next 30 or so days, I’m going to step away from social media and some news sites. Anything that I do share will be done so automatically, or because I saw an article from a self-approved news site and sent it to Twitter in order to come back to when I’ve completed my digital detox.

So, by now, I’m sure you’re wondering how I’ll spend my newly found time? Here are the four things I’ll be shifting my time to:

  1. Reading
  2. Writing
  3. Art
  4. Self

Reading

I already spend a bit of my time reading, however, I’ve noticed myself reaching for my phone more and more rather than a book. As a way to make myself more accountable, my wife and I have decided to read and discuss a book together. We’ve done this in the past, and we really enjoyed it. This time we’ll be reading 10% Happier by Dan Harris. We’ve had these sitting on our shelf for a few months now, and what better way to spend your digital detox than reading about how to reduce stress?

Writing

About a month ago, I started a writing project that I would really like to see through to the end. Every writing project I’ve ever started, I ran into a snag or something else got in the way and I either got bored with it or completely trashed it. I really would like to finish this one. I’ve made it further with this one so far than I have with any of the other ones. So, I’m going to really try and spend 5 minutes at a minimum on it daily.

Art

There are some mediums out there that I’ve just never quite been comfortable with or that I’ve wanted to try out to see what they do. So, I picked up a few things at the art store to kickstart my curiosity. Maybe, when I’ve completed my digital detox, I’ll share some of what I “created”.

Self

This is the biggest area I’m going to spend my time on. I noticed that I’ve been just going through motions lately on some things without really being aware. This is probably the single biggest reason for doing this digital detox! I need to spend some quality time healing my body and clearing my mind. To do so, I’m going to shift my focus in the gym to that of recovery movements. I’m going to spend a little time doing yoga. Lastly, one of the things I really want to do is spend time each day in meditation.

So, there it is. My blueprint for a digital detox over the next 30 or so days.

Oh, and one last thing: I’m going to try and get better at journaling and posting on a more frequent basis.

How much sleep do you REALLY need?

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Do you struggle with just how much sleep you need each night? Maybe you find that it’s keeping you up? Are you getting enough? Or maybe too much?

Who REALLY knows?

Well, come to find out, researchers from the National Sleep Foundation conducted a two-year study. In this study, that magic number is between seven and nine hours for most adults.

It’s even noted that, as our bodies age, the amount of sleep one needs changes.

  • NEWBORNS: 14-17 hours
  • INFANTS: 12-15 hours
  • TODDLERS: 11-14 hours
  • PRESCHOOLERS: 10-13 hours
  • ELEMENTARY SCHOOLERS: 9-11 hours
  • TEENAGERS: 8-10 hours
  • YOUNG ADULTS TO ADULTS: 7-9 hours
  • OLDER ADULTS: 7-8 hours

Now, you do need to accept that everyone is different. And, it’s also worth noting that there are a handful of sleep disorders out there preventing you from getting either the right amount of sleep or just plain not being able to.

Forget about trying to “catch up” on sleep because that’s just a myth.

One idea of thought is to just be as consistent with your routine and schedule as you can. Don’t stay up late one night and go to bed early the next. You’re just setting yourself up for failure.

And, when it comes to getting the right amount of sleep for you… sleep for as long as your mind and body needs.

Speaking for myself, I don’t require a lot of sleep. I find that I do best when I’m in the area of 5-6 hours a night.

Brains turned to glass? Just how hot was the Mount Vesuvius eruption?

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Fragment of glassy black material found in the skull of a victim of Mount Vesuvius. –
 Petrone et al./NEJM

Anything that has the ability to cause the average global temperature to go up instantly, is something worth noting. And that’s just what happened when Mount Vesuvius erupted in 79 CE.

There has been some new research come out about just how hot it may have been. In a new short paper in the New England Journal of Medicine, some 100 skeletons that had been excavated were closely examined revealed that one particular victim’s brain matter had been vitrified, i.e., fused into glass.

Usually, according to the authors, such brain matter would be “saponified” by the extreme heat—that is, it turned to soap (glycerol and fatty acids).

While not everyone agrees with the findings in the paper, we do know one thing: Mount Vesuvius was HOT!

Interested in learning more be sure to check out: ars Technica for more.

Ending Chapters and Turning New Pages

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flower growing out of crack in ground

2019 is coming to a close and 2020 is just around the corner. This past year has been a year of healing and growing for me. It started off with the normal resolutions that pretty much everybody says: lose weight, eat healthy, exercise and make major changes to improve your life. I admit I had those same thoughts. As the year starts out, you have the zeal to do all these things. As the months go by, however, that zeal loses steam. Then those resolutions become just good ideas to try when you have time.

Around spring time of 2019, things at my job were changing and I’m not one for change. But, if it is needed, I will adjust. Anyway, things at work got crazy and I wasn’t sure about all the new plans and policies being put in place. Just about everyone had the same reservations. 

As I have previously written, I have anxiety. 

Frustratingly, with all these changes and tension at my job, I started having panic attacks. It was around the summer I decided to reach out for help for these panic attacks and thoughts. I learn techniques to cope with anxiety. It helped with my personal life, but I was spending time in the warehouse and bathroom at my job trying to quell my panic attacks. Then they would happen on my way to work. 

During the spring/summer I started looking for another job. I was not having any luck. I was putting in applications, but no one was calling me back. I didn’t have the experience most were asking for.  Then, one day after being told by management that all I was really good for was cashiering, I went home and looked for jobs. 

I was beaten down. 

This was the final straw!

Call it luck or fate or destiny or whatever, I saw one place hiring that said “no experience necessary”. I said “what the heck!’ and applied. I forgot about is because I was worried about the holidays coming up and not being able to spend it with my family. In all this worry, I got a peace about the holidays. I felt that I wasn’t to worry about it. 

Then… I got a call! They wanted to do a phone interview. 

Then I was emailed from them to set up an in-person interview! I haven’t had an interview in 18 years! I was so nervous! Both Dan and my therapist (and friends along in this journey) helped me prepare. 

During that interview I was so nervous and you could see it. Literally…my neck and face get red and splotchy. As the interview was coming to an end, I felt at peace and calm. I figured it was in God’s hands. 

Then I was asked to shadow for the position. This was a great idea. You get to see the job and meet the people working there. 

A few days later… I was offered the job! VICTORY! I could hardly believe it! So I put my two week notice in at my job. 

From some of the things said and how I was treated after that, I knew I had made the right decision. I was leaving a toxic environment. I didn’t realize how toxic until I left completely and started to process these things with Dan and my therapist. 

All the while this was going on, I was learning to forgive my biological dad. I don’t remember him because I was very young when my mom and him divorced. He chose not to be in mine or my sisters’ lives. It has always bothered me. I was going to find him and see if we could talk. 

Upon reaching out to others who knew him and talking with them, and some praying, I decided not to find him. But I needed to figure out how to get past feelings of unworthiness, feeling abandoned, and the hurt. It was suggested that I just forgive him. I’m currently working on that. 

No. It’s not easy.

I got a little relief by writting him a letter and ripping it out of the notebook and throwing it away. (Kind of like how he threw me away.) The only thing to work past is seeing his point of view. I’m stuck there. I know that’s okay. It takes time. Forgiveness isn’t something that happens overnight. 

I feel I’ve come a long way since the start of 2019 and I know I have a long way to go. I have stepped outside my comfort zone more than once. And it’s okay. I’m okay. The world didn’t end. I have a little more self confidence and I know I am worthy and lovable. I got myself a better job and realized it’s my biological dad who is missing out, not me. I am on the road to controlling my anxiety instead of it controlling me. 

So, while getting ready to ring in the new year, I’m left wondering just how many chapters in one life can come to an end all at the same time?

Life sure is a page turner!

Do you know who you are?

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It’s a question I think many people think about at least a few times in their lives. For me, it seems like it’s always something I think about. I constantly want to know how I can be better, or do more, or whatever. 

Here is a little of the backstory…

A few weeks ago, a close friend of mine suggested I take one of those silly tests about your personality. I think the one he referred me to was at 16Personalities.com (If you’ve never taken a test like this, it can be rather eye-opening for you and those around you. Best yet, this one is FREE!)

I took it and was not really surprised at what my result was. I was and am one of the more rare types. I’m an INFJ.

What did surprise me about taking this was what it said about me. As I was reading more about what an INFJ person is, I was sharing it with my friend. All he kept doing was nodding his head in agreement. Either he knows me really well or someone has been following me around for a lot of years compiling data and put it together in a very condensed form and tipped off my friend to check it out. I kept thinking to myself how accurate this thing was.

Intrigued, and true to being an INFJ, I wanted to know more. So, what did I do? Validate the results. I found another personality test, took it and came back with the same results.

Still somewhat skeptical, I had this friend of mine take the test and answer the questions as he perceived me to be. Results? Hide the kids in the room because HOLY SH!T it was the same thing. 

Having enough proof or validation, I decided to dig a little deeper into more about being an INFJ.

I asked myself a handful of questions like:

  • What makes an INJF happy?
  • What upsets an INFJ?
  • What are things an INFJ likes to do?

INFJ people tend to spend a lot of time in their own heads thinking and pondering about things. This was one of those times!

All through my life, I’ve had people tell me I was intimidating or unapproachable. Or I just don’t look happy. Or I’m this or that. So, I decided that maybe I would try and be more open about this and what makes me tick. All in the hopes that the people around me understand me a little better so that my own little world becomes a much more pleasant place to be.

Here’s a video that might give you some insight:

I’M AN INTROVERT… so, you’re just gonna have to deal with it.

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The title and lead image say just about all that needs to be said. I’m an introvert and you’re just gonna have to deal with it. Oh, and yes… Ugh, People!

Sounds a tad bit harsh. I know. And, I get it. Trust me, I’ve thought about it enough already.

That’s something introverts just tend to do. They think. A lot! While extroverts spend their time outside of their own minds, introverts tend to spend the majority of their time in their own heads. Thinking about anything and everything. It doesn’t mean they’re shy at all. Just that they would rather be alone with their thoughts.

For some of who are introverts, this can be somewhat conflicting. Myself, I deal with anxiety and depression which can be very frustrating. Caught up in my own thoughts can be like an elevator ride on a downward spiral. The internal struggle with trying to clear out dark thoughts only gets clouded over with more dark thoughts, and at times, even darker thoughts. And, it’s times like this where the best thing you can do for someone like me, is to just let me be. Let me recharge!

We all have our own ways to recharge. As for me and myself? Well, we like to stay home and set all the locks on the doors. Again, harsh. But, I need you to understand that – how can I say this without sounding too harsh again? – it’s just not mentally healthy for me to be in a socially charged atmosphere to recharge.

As a matter of fact, it’s even more draining than you realize to be in groups, small or large. It’s much more recharging mentally for me to be alone, or even one-on-one – as long as it’s with someone who’ve I’ve already accepted into my “inner social circle”.

But, hey, I am who I am and that’s all that I am.

The good thing is, I’m not alone in being an introvert. Despite making up 25-40% of the population, there are some pretty incredible people who are introverts:

  • Bill Gates (interesting sidenote about him is that he takes a week off from everything to unplug and recharge by going out by himself, alone, to a lakeside cabin to read and think – sounds spectacular if you ask me)
  • Eleanor Roosevelt (often quoted as saying: “Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.”)
  • Albert Einstein (arguably one of the most brilliant minds ever who said: “The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.”)
  • Mahatma Gandhi
  • Laura Bush
  • Warren Buffet

I could certainly add many more names to that list! Maybe even yours? One thing remains: there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert as long as you know how to really connect with us.

Here’s a look into what it’s like behind locked doors in our house:

Anxiety: The Struggle is Real

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I have anxiety. 

One definition of anxiety is: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. The Psychiatry definition of anxiety is: a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

I have been diagnosed… with anxiety. 

I have dealt with this disorder my entire life, and I have no idea what it means or what it’s like to live a normal life. 

One of the things I have problems with is worrying. When I looked up the word anxiety, I also looked up the word worry. Which, is defined as to: give way to anxiety or unease; allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. Or: a state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems. 

These definitions for both anxiety and worry describe me and my everyday life. It describes what I have been fighting all my life. 

A few months ago I decided to start therapy because of some thoughts and feelings I was having. Plus, everyday life was just getting to hard to handle. I honestly was getting frustrated that family and friends would tell me that I just needed to stop worrying and thinking the thoughts that I would think. But family and friends also didn’t know the extent of my mental illness. I would always tell those who told me to stop, that if I could, I WOULD! I highly doubt anyone would want to live like this day in and day out.

I worry about everything and everyone. I worry about my husband, my son and his little family. I worry about work, my husbands work, home and the many things that need to be done around the house. I worry about finances, my son and his family’s finances. I worry about my health. My husbands health. And, you guessed it, other loved ones’ health. I worry about today, tomorrow and the future. I worry about how I present myself and what others will think. I worry about how my family presents themselves. I think the list can go on but I have a feeling you probably get the idea. 

The thing is, these are my thoughts every single day! Some days are better than others. Some days something can trigger all these thoughts to come to my mind. All at once. It’s exhausting. It’s hard to go to sleep, let alone stay asleep when things are bad. 

When I started to understand why people who struggle with mental illness commit suicide… I figured it was time to seek help. Now, I personally would not choose to end my life. I have so many blessings in my life and there would be so much heartache for my loved ones.

But, I just get tired. 

So, I understand that those who choose suicide might just be tired and exhauted about their struggles. It may end your own pain, but it doesn’t end your loved ones pain.

Back to the therapy thing.

My therapy is helping so far. I have taken baby steps and still have a long way to go. I just want to be healthy and happy for me and my family. I want to be around and see my family grow. I want my family to have good memories of me and not ones of sadness. 

Me sharing my journey of my mental illness is giving me anxiety. I worry about people judging me. But, I have talked to my husband about how sharing could help others in their journey. And I’m sure I can learn from others who have been there. It gives me comfort to know that there are others who struggle and I’m not the only one.

You’re not the only one!

I’m not the only one!

We’re all in this… together.

If you knew you would die tomorrow, what would you change today?

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You’ve probably been asked that question before. Or, maybe something similar to it. I know I have. More than once. And, lately, I’ve given some time to really think about it.

It’s a fact of life. Death. We are ALL going to go at some point. There is absolutely no way to avoid it.

As I’ve spent the last few months pondering on this question, I’ve noticed something of those that are older than me. Actually, maybe a few things.

They’ve accepted it. The other thing is that they don’t focus on the end, but rather the here and now.

It isn’t something I feel that very many people my age understand quite yet. Maybe I’m just blind to it, but it sure seems that the majority of people are focused on the material things of the world instead of the things that matter the most.

Time. Memories. Moments. Whichever one you want to think of it as they all have the same central concept. They are the things that won’t fade away. That fancy car you drive? It will eventually rust and wither away into nothing. That house? With just one strong gust of wind, it can be transformed into a pile of rubble. Clothes? Shoes? Jewelry? All of it won’t mean a damn thing at the end of time for you.

When you’re sitting at the end of your life, you’re likely going to think of the people that have come and gone from your life. You’re likely to think about all the time you wasted.

So, ask yourself the question…

If you knew you would die tomorrow, what would you change today?

Would you apologize to someone?

Would you smile bigger?

Would you be thankful for each breath you took?

Would you pick your words more carefully?

Why wait until that day comes? We don’t know when it will happen. We just know it will. Make the change now!